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Greetings!
Welcome to the third issue of Be Understood a
discussion of Emotionally Intelligent
Communication.
As I write this, people in the Caribbean islands and
southern US are preparing for, enduring, or surveying
the aftermath of Hurricane Ivan. My mind rushes back
one year, to when Bermuda (where I live) was mopping
up
and beginning to rebuild after Hurricane Fabian.
To experience the terrifying power of
hurricanes - the noise, the dark and sinister air filled
with particles of everything on the earth moving at
speeds you can only imagine, and the inevitable
destruction - is both awful and awe-full. You face your
fear. You just don't have a choice about it. You know,
with crystal clarity, what is important.
This
experience is not to be envied - yet for those who
have gone through a hurricane, it's a powerful
encounter with
who we really are and an exercise that strengthens our
emotional "muscle."
| Wince Over Lightly |
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If you want an argument for introducing emotional
intelligence training into your workplace, catch an
episode or two of The Office in DVD.
This runaway BBC hit is absolutely painful to watch.
(My husband's reaction: "My jaw hurts from wincing!")
It's outrageous, but not so far over the top that you
don't recognize people you've worked with and
situations you've witnessed.
David Brent, manager of the department, is missing the
fundamental emotional intelligence competencies of self-
awareness, empathy, and impulse control. But what
makes the stories even more painful is that he thinks
he's an excellent manager and leader.
Working with people to develop their leadership and
communication skills, I'm increasingly convinced that
getting good at this begins with self-awareness.
Getting
to know yourself takes courage, particularly for people
who are uncomfortable recognizing and expressing
feelings.
But here's the good part - if you don't like what you
discover, you can choose to behave in other ways.
How you act and how you communicate are two of the
few things that are completely within your control.
See emotional intelligence hit new lows - buy the DVD »
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| Feng Shui for your writing? |
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I spent a few
hours last month trying to rid my office of clutter.
That's
partly because it was long overdue, and
partly because I've been reading about Feng
Shui. Now anyone who knows anythng about this
4,000-year-old practice of arranging your environment
to enhance your life knows the practice isn't as simple
as getting rid of clutter. Still, you have to admit that
clutter can play a big negative role in a life, whether
or not you believe you can influence your success and
prosperity by rearranging your living space.
As
I
was evicting 1993 DayTimers and notes from projects
completed in the last century, I was struck by an idea.
(Already my work was paying off!) Getting clutter out
of
your writing is as important as getting it out of your life.
Without wishing to upset Feng Shui purists, I
developed Nine Tips for Clutter Free
Writing. They're loosely (very loosely) based on
the
Feng Shui principle that each area of
your physical space relates to a specific area of your
life.
Read Sue's decluttering principles here »
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| Illumination - New Ideas |
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It's not communication unless . . .
A
federal court case in Boston suggests that
sending an e-mail isn't the best way to notify
employees
about important policy changes. To hold up in court,
you must do more than prove an e-mail was sent and
opened. Campbell v. General Dynamics
Government Systems Corp. suggests companies
must prove the policies were received and reviewed by
the employees.
In 2001, this employer sent an
e-mail from the company president to all employees
about a new dispute resolution policy. The note did not
describe the policy but contained links to it and to the
company's handbook, both of which were on the
company intranet. The company did not require
employees to reply by stating, "I accept."
The
court made it clear that, "Most users of e-mail
inevitably receive incredible volumes of messages. It is
often hard to distinguish the important from the
frivolous." To presume that Campbell had read the
e-mail and the linked documents, said the court, was to
show an intolerably low level of respect for the rights
guaranteed to him by law.
Writers, hang in there!
If you visit
Amazon.com
you may find this hard to
believe, but a Gallup study suggests that 58% of
people in the US haven't read a non-fiction book from
cover to cover - ever! Success guru Brian Tracy, cites
another Gallup study that suggests reading one
non-fiction book a month will put you in the top 1% of
living
Americans. (This isn't a reason for Aussies, Bermudians,
Canadians, Danes, and the rest of the world to feel
smug - Gallup just didn't study us!)
Does this
mean bad news for writers? Yes and no. The
Association of American Publishers' 2003 sales statistics
show drops in adult hard and soft cover sales as well as
mass market paperbacks. The losses are being offset
by sales in children's and religious books, as well as
audio books and e-books.
And a well-manicured thumbs up to . . .
Australia's Yalumba winery, who, a few evenings ago,
provided a
little communication surprise along with their very nice
Viognier. The label has a little perforated section with
no glue behind it. Rip off the little tab and you've got a
postage-stamp-sized record of the name and vintage -
and no need to soak and scrape off the label so you
can find the wine again!
Great learning experiences
In the past few months, I've spent almost as much time
learning as working, and it has been a transformational
experience - not to mention heaps of fun.
First stop was Calgary, for a trainer
certification program with 6 Seconds EQ. 6
Seconds is
one of the pioneers in the popularization and promotion
of emotional intelligence concepts in everyday life. Its
model - Know yourself, choose yourself, give yourself -
supports a philosophy that says being emotionally
intelligent begins with self-awareness and moves into
choosing how we will act and contribute in the
world, rather than just reacting. It was a thrilling week
and provided participants with practical skills we will
take with us into our work, both as people and
practitioners.
Then it was on to Vancouver, to be
qualified by Psychometrics Canada to
administer and interpret Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
(MBTI) and to use that tool with teams. Millions of
people have taken the MBTI assessment, which
examines how people experience the world and make
decisions, and how those things profoundly affect our
behaviour. It's a valuable tool for building
self-awareness and for knowing how to communicate
with
people who have different patterns and priorities. (It
can also explain why your boss or spouse does things
that seem absolutely crazy to you.)
Next month, I'm off to Colorado combining
coaching and emotional intelligence as I start an
exciting new program with EQ At
Work. Its "whole leader" program includes three
months of coaching to make sure the learning sticks,
once everyone heads back to the "real" world.
All these super organizations are in the
Links area, to the right, so those who are
interested can learn more about them.
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| Does PowerPoint Make Us Stupid? |
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Let's do the math.
If 30 million presentations will be given today, and
they're all as interesting as the ones you've seen lately,
how many people will stay awake, pay attention, and
get the message?
Once upon a time we could go to a meeting and people
would talk to each other. Sometimes they wrote things
on a board or passed around documents to examine.
But the main ingredient of a meeting was the sharing of
information and ideas. The visual element was
secondary. And nobody pretended it was entertainment
In today's meetings, we sit in darkened rooms, staring
at too-bright pages of blurred, microscopic figures,
gritting our teeth over the inevitable typing errors,
gagging on cheesy clip art meant to add life to dry
content, reaching for the Tylenol when the yellow text
shows up on the blue background with the red gears in
the border, wondering what's really going on, and
hoping it will all end soon.
Microsoft has sold several million copies of its
PowerPoint presentation software, which means people
are churning out trillions of slides every year. But Bill
Gates and his mates aren't to blame. For years,
companies have been using devices from 35mm slides
to overhead projectors to slap images up on the walls
of business meetings. Microsoft just perfected the
technology and made it cheap. The business world is
now addicted. And a lot of smart people think that's
making us stupid.
Read the whole article and results of our PowerPoint survey
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